Labels

Generally, I am not a fan of  "labels."  In our lives we are labeled as a mom, parent, teacher, sister, daughter, wife, cousin, aunt etc.

Greg and I had this whole big thing about not wanting Evie to be labeled with special needs so young, now we know we were a bit crazy. It was aparent pretty early on that we were going to have to put some "labels" on our baby in order to get her the help she needs. So, I began to be OK with labels. THEN........

I was at a therapy session last week and someone introduced me as a "mom of a special needs child" WOW! I had a really hard time with that one. I am good with alot of other labels, but this one hit home. It is who I am and will be forever now, but I guess I wasn't quite ready to hear it.

I can't say it enough- we are blessed by Evie and our lives will never be the same, but I wouldn't change it for the world.

Diagnosis

Blogger is different? weird?

So here it is......
Evie was diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder, Hypotonia (low muscle tone), and Speech Disorder (not specified- read below)

Sensory Processing Disorder (soon to be changed to Dysfunction so that it falls into the DSM-4), is what causes her little body to go into overdrive in social situations, causes her to not like to touch things with odd textures, and causes her to rock! We will continue with our OT from ECI for this disorder.

Hypotonia or low muscle tone, is what is causing her to not be able to support herself sitting upright in the correct position. It is also what is creating her problem with walking. She walks with her knees together and feet inward. The doctor thinks that the muscle tone might also be playing a part in her speech. A few months ago Evie fell at the babysitters and her front teeth went through her gums. This is partly because her mouth isn't as strong as most kids. We are going to be starting Physical therapy for this as soon as we get the papers done.

Speech Disorder, this was our origional concern. From what I learned today, Evie has an expressive and receptive speech delay. She doesn't put words out and has a small problem taking them in. She qualified origionally as a 3-6 month old on speech and we might* be at the point of a 12 month old now speech wise. So, we will continue seeing our rocking cool speech therapist at Pro Steps for speech and letting them help us grow.

What does this mean for Evie?
She is special, she has special needs and she will always have special needs. The doctor today made it very clear that she was cognitevly very on target. She is a smart girl, but will always need some help. We will hopefully do 1/2 PPCD and 1/2 private pre-school when she turns 3.

I feel like I am completly blessed to be have been chosen as her mommy. She wasn't supposed to be here- she is our magic suprise in life- and boy did God give us a suprise with her! He knew what he was doing when he brought us to Dumas, he knew that we were going to need a small town and a wonderful close knit school district to raise her in. God knew that we needed lots of hands to help get to and from therapist and school and doctors. AND he knew that she belonged in our family. I am always amazed by how HIS plans work out in the most mysterious of ways.

Right now, our greatest prayer is that we get some help financially through either medicaid or our insurance to help with therapy costs. Then, we need prayers that our other 2 kids understand what is going on with Evie. Avry asked me today if we figured out why Evie was "special" yet!

Thank you for all caring and understanding and listening and being there for Greg and I. We are truly blessed by the amount of love we have seen in our marriage (and lifetimes). Without our friends and family we would not be who we are!

Sarah

Evelyn Grace McClelland

Meet Evelyn Grace McClelland. I have to blog about Evie, because I haven't blogged about her birth yet. Isn't she absolutely GORGEOUS?????

A year ago right now, I was scared out of my mind that I was pregnant again......again.....EEK. 6 1/2 months ago, this perfect angel came into our lives. On the Sunday before Evie was born, I started having contractions.....real ones....and they hurt. I hadn't ever had contractions before, and I honestly don't care to have them again. Monday my mom came down, Tuesday she got sick and ended up in the hospital. (still having contractions by the way) Thursday....oh yes Thursday March 11, 2010. I woke up and had an appointment with Dr. Owen, I decided I wasn't going to eat breakfast just in case she decided I needed to be delivered. Afterall, I was STILL having contractions!!! So, I visited Dr. Owen, and yes, I was going into labor.....and quickly...so here came Evie.

Evie graced us with her presence at 2:11 PM weighing 7. 11 oz, she had a full head of hair and beautiful features. SHE WAS HEALTHY!!! I got a healthy baby!!! Dr. Owen again had made a good call on delivery. Evie was breech, big and my uterus was stretched to its max. If I had of gone farther into labor, it could have been a very scary situation. God always has a plan

Evie has been the most wonderful addition to our family. I am so glad that God chose us to be her parents (and siblings).

Having 3 kids under the age of 4 has been nothing short of interesting, but I wouldn't change it for the world!

Blessings

A couple of weeks ago, Abbey and I went to see Mandisa and Laura Story. Let me say- Mandisa can rock it! I love Laura Story!!! She sings a song called "Blessings," and it totally makes me think of those days when our struggles are so much.
My favorite words are : "cause what if our blessings come through raindrops, what if our healing comes through tears, what if a 1000 sleepless nights are what it takes to knows your near."
This song just speaks to me lately, I love it!

Kids:
Avry got glasses last week, she looks so cute! The eye dr. told us that her eyes looked very evident of her prematurity at birth. She has some issues that have risen over the past few months that we will be working on. He feels like the glasses will help strengthen her eyes! Blessing!

Coen is just going right along with life. He is a very smart 3 year old and has been calling me his "princess" That makes momma's heart so happy!

Evie is just Evie. We are trucking right along with all her therapist and her ECI provider. We see a Developmental Pediatrician on Thursday morning to hopefully get some sort of diagnosis- which will help us proceed in proper placement when she turns 3. She continues to amaze me every single day. She loves her babies and LOVES books! I am so sure she is going to be a great reader someday. She again is a fabulous blessing to us.

Then there is this amazing man that I call my husband. He is the greatest thing ever! He takes on so much responsibility with the kids and especially our therapists. I love him sooo much!

Evie

I don't really know where to start, but I need to probably let some feelings out and alot of people are asking about Evie.

When our sweet baby was about 9 months old we started noticing she wasn't doing things a normal 9 month old would do developmentally. We pushed it off thinking she was a 3rd baby and we had spoiled her. By about 14 months, she wasn't walking and flags started raising. When she was 16 months, she walked-but her gait was very odd. At about 17 months, I took her in for a well child check up and our sweet Doctor was talking to me about her development. I opened up for the first time and expressed some concerns about her development. My biggest concern being that she said nothing....not even ma-ma or da-da. After talking to Dr. Carter and our speech therapist at school, Greg and I decided to go to a private therapy center and get her checked out.

Intitial speech testing showed Evie had the speech of a 3- 6 month old. I thought that was heart breaking. Little did we know the next few months would only bring more emotion. Around Christmas (18-19 months old) we expressed concerns that Evie had some sensory issues. She rocks, hates her hands being touched, hates shoes and had begun to develop a huge fear of public places. Very quickly she qualified for Occupational therapy at the same center.

Our finances have not been able to support the very large bill that private therapy was creating, so after much prayer we headed for ECI. Greg and I have been nothing but blessed with amazing therapists, and again God put his hand on us with ECI.

Tuesday of last week, Evie had a few more tests done. Greg and I had decided that we wanted to continue private speech therapy but have ECI do occupational therapy and watch her overall development. They will also help us transition into programs when she turns 3.

Evie qualified for the ECI program being between 50-60% disabled in various areas. She will be actually recieving more therapy through them- and they are going to oversee her care. The initial suggestion for transition into the public school program will be for Evie to go into a Special needs classroom when she turns 3.....if we ever get a diagnosis from a doctor (another huge battle)!!!

We do not have any idea what Evie's diagnosis will be. Some suggest some sort of Autism spectrum disorder, some a sensory processing disorder along with a speech problem. Only God knows.

So, here we are. Never in my life would I have dreamed that this baby, that I was not supposed to get pregnant with- would be such an enormous blessing. We have a child with special needs. God chose us to be her parents. He has faith that we will be the best thing for her. We are honored, scared, blessed and a whole host of other emotions.

Greg and I need prayers for understanding and wisdom. Evie's grandparents, aunts and brother and sister need prayers for understanding as well. We have to learn how to parent a child with very random needs in an unfriendly world.

Tonight, we are grateful that Evie signed "cry" while her brother threw a fit- she is a beautiful blessing and she overflows our hearts with love!!!!

Anxiety

Here I am, treading through the worst anxiety I have ever had in my life. I think it all started on Wednesday, when the realization of going to Lubbock this weekend hit me. I started thinking about how much we left behind, how much we gave up and how much I miss what I had. I miss my house terribly, I miss Ms. Crystal and Ms. Kelly our babysitters, I miss Jerrid and Amy, I miss Green lawn and one of the things I miss the most is Superkids. Then it hit me that perhaps we will never find a house here. What if that never happens? I have issues with moving it appears, perhaps because between the time I was 7 and 12 we moved 6 times. My parents packed us up and left our house behind when I was 7. The economy was bad then too. It took them the better part of 5 years to get us back together- I feel like that is happening to my family, we are so displaced and it is really getting to me.
I know that Greg and I picking up our family and moving was the best thing we could do for our marriage-which was struggling, and getting out from our HUGE mortgage payment and getting better paying jobs was right for our family as well.
My parents have been a lifesaver this weekend. Yesterday I sat and talked to my mom for about 2 hours and I think it really helped me. The symptoms are still here. My skin is crawling, my heart races and my muscles are achy. I will get through it.
For the better part of 5 years, I have taken zoloft for depression. It is time for a change-hopefully tomorrow my dr. will be able to switch my medicine and give me some relief. Man, I have had alot going on in my life. New jobs, new town, new routines, new baby, new church....someday life will be normal again and I have faith that the good lord will pull me through.

thoughts

I know I have a ton to catch up on, I don't know if I have even blogged about Evie's birth-or that we moved-or that Avry started pre-school.....for that matter I know I haven't blogged about Avry's 4th birthday or Coen's second birthday (which the cake is still pending). I do know that I am so richly blessed to be right here in Dumas TX.
This might turn into a vent, I am emotionally exhausted......
Alot of the reasoning to move home for us came with the fact that we needed to be closer to family, my momma especially. Yesterday, my mom turned 57. Yesterday I was so thankful that God gave me another day with her. Today, I am equally thankful. 2 weeks ago Saturday mom got very ill, she was septic, her gallbladder was "fried", her kidneys pretty much stopped working, she had a hospital born infection AND perhaps even another heart attack. We brought her home Saturday, the day before she turned 57. 42 years of my mom's 57 have been spent being diabetic. 42 years, I can't even begin to grasp how long that is....... Today, she is home, she is physically doing very well, but she isn't the same momma I had before. I know that she will regain her strenght and be back to being my momma, right?
God's timing is so perfect, today, I am sitting in my parents living room (because we are cool and live with them ;) ), I would not have been able to take myself back to Lubbock this time.....I have left before, I have gone home before......but I couldn't have done it again. Our journey here is perfect, we are blessed-in the hardest time I have ever faced, we are blessed.
I am equally blessed to have friends who are ICU nurses, a sister and brother in law who are ICU nurses....these people have answered endless questions for me. I am blessed that I have a couple of friends who have had to deal with a parents illness. I am blessed that my husband is here with me holding me tight through all of this.
Hug your parents, hug your siblings, don't go to be angry---all those things....DO THEM.....you don't know what tomorrow will bring.
Through all the rough weeks we have had......we have moved, we are settled, we still own a house in Lubbock (that needs to sell), we both love our jobs.....I am so blessed!