Anxiety

Here I am, treading through the worst anxiety I have ever had in my life. I think it all started on Wednesday, when the realization of going to Lubbock this weekend hit me. I started thinking about how much we left behind, how much we gave up and how much I miss what I had. I miss my house terribly, I miss Ms. Crystal and Ms. Kelly our babysitters, I miss Jerrid and Amy, I miss Green lawn and one of the things I miss the most is Superkids. Then it hit me that perhaps we will never find a house here. What if that never happens? I have issues with moving it appears, perhaps because between the time I was 7 and 12 we moved 6 times. My parents packed us up and left our house behind when I was 7. The economy was bad then too. It took them the better part of 5 years to get us back together- I feel like that is happening to my family, we are so displaced and it is really getting to me.
I know that Greg and I picking up our family and moving was the best thing we could do for our marriage-which was struggling, and getting out from our HUGE mortgage payment and getting better paying jobs was right for our family as well.
My parents have been a lifesaver this weekend. Yesterday I sat and talked to my mom for about 2 hours and I think it really helped me. The symptoms are still here. My skin is crawling, my heart races and my muscles are achy. I will get through it.
For the better part of 5 years, I have taken zoloft for depression. It is time for a change-hopefully tomorrow my dr. will be able to switch my medicine and give me some relief. Man, I have had alot going on in my life. New jobs, new town, new routines, new baby, new church....someday life will be normal again and I have faith that the good lord will pull me through.

thoughts

I know I have a ton to catch up on, I don't know if I have even blogged about Evie's birth-or that we moved-or that Avry started pre-school.....for that matter I know I haven't blogged about Avry's 4th birthday or Coen's second birthday (which the cake is still pending). I do know that I am so richly blessed to be right here in Dumas TX.
This might turn into a vent, I am emotionally exhausted......
Alot of the reasoning to move home for us came with the fact that we needed to be closer to family, my momma especially. Yesterday, my mom turned 57. Yesterday I was so thankful that God gave me another day with her. Today, I am equally thankful. 2 weeks ago Saturday mom got very ill, she was septic, her gallbladder was "fried", her kidneys pretty much stopped working, she had a hospital born infection AND perhaps even another heart attack. We brought her home Saturday, the day before she turned 57. 42 years of my mom's 57 have been spent being diabetic. 42 years, I can't even begin to grasp how long that is....... Today, she is home, she is physically doing very well, but she isn't the same momma I had before. I know that she will regain her strenght and be back to being my momma, right?
God's timing is so perfect, today, I am sitting in my parents living room (because we are cool and live with them ;) ), I would not have been able to take myself back to Lubbock this time.....I have left before, I have gone home before......but I couldn't have done it again. Our journey here is perfect, we are blessed-in the hardest time I have ever faced, we are blessed.
I am equally blessed to have friends who are ICU nurses, a sister and brother in law who are ICU nurses....these people have answered endless questions for me. I am blessed that I have a couple of friends who have had to deal with a parents illness. I am blessed that my husband is here with me holding me tight through all of this.
Hug your parents, hug your siblings, don't go to be angry---all those things....DO THEM.....you don't know what tomorrow will bring.
Through all the rough weeks we have had......we have moved, we are settled, we still own a house in Lubbock (that needs to sell), we both love our jobs.....I am so blessed!

What's up???????

I have no pictures.....does that make me a bad mom? :)

Ok, I have pictures, but we dont' have a computer......does that make me nuts? (YES!!!)

Recap of the last 12 months.......

Abbey got married
I got pregnant
Coen got really sick and had a hospital stay
Coen got tubes and his adnoids out
My papa passed away
My granny passed away
Abbey got pregnant
Coen had a couple of asthma attacks
Christmas---Hallelujah 2 weeks off!!!!
Evie graced us with her presence on March 11, 2010 after a perfect, normal, full term pregnancy

Got a teaching job in Dumas.....wait.....what was that??????

That is where we are now, I took a teaching job in Dumas 2 weeks ago, we threw our house on the market and we are moving. Life is absolutely crazy!!! We are moving, changing jobs, packing our house, driving back and forth between here and there......and waiting on our nephew Bray to be born!!!

I have always wanted to be a teacher, it is finally happening! FINALLY! Lubbock has been good to us for the past 10 years, but it is time for a change. We are going to be closer to family (to help with our 3 very small children), be making better money, having a little more time together as a husband and wife (not just mommy and daddy) and most of all--get back to a small town life and enjoy raising our kids in a small town!

Greg and I are very excited about our move, as are the kids. Who knows? Maybe with summer's off I might blog more :)

Oh the Journey!

I still don't have pictures, because we still don't own a computer! :)

We are counting down the days until baby Evie arrives. 23 at most! What an eventful 9 months this has been. You know back on July 13th when this journey began, I sure wouldn't have expected this to be such a, well, journey.

When we found out we were pregnant again, while I was still adjusting to life as a working mother of 2, I was so in shock. WOW! What was happening? Was this a joke? NOPE! Here we are 9 full months later, big and pregnant with a precious baby girl, Evelyn Grace.

So, in early August, my best friend from college Margaret, let me know she was pregnant too. You see, Margaret and her husband had been trying to get pregnant since before Avry was born. What a special plan God had for us to have babies together-in his time, not ours. If all works out, we will have 2 baby girls 14 days apart. Evie and Grace.

In late August my Pa-Pa passed away, which was a huge deal. Pretty unexpected and it definitly brought back alot of memories of my Mamaw, who passed away 14 yrs previous. I am a firm believer that the Lord gives as he takes away. Here we were just finding out we were having another baby, as we had just had this horrible loss.

Around Christmas, my Granny got very ill. After a 3 week stay in Hospice (by the way, Hospice is a wonderful place), she went to be with the Lord and back with my Pa a week before Christmas. Christmas Eve, my sister, announced that she was pregnant as well. Again, the Lord gave to us as he took away another precious person from our lives.

So, here we are 23 days away from having our precious baby girl. It has been an overwhelming journey, but we are all 4 ready to jump in with both feet and welcome this baby girl into our family! We feel richly blessed to have been able to have 3 children in our short 5 year marriage.

Come on EVIE we are ready to meet you!!!!!

update on kids and life!

I haven't blogged in a while, we have been so very busy!

Avry is doing ballet, school and then of course still going to Crystal's. Coen is just going to Crystal's of course. He is flourishing into such a beautiful little man. I am thankful each and everyday that God gave him to me. I am of course thankful for Avry too. They keep us very busy and we love every minute of it.

Coen's newest thing is immitating sister. He wants to be with her everywhere she goes and be copying every move she makes. He tries to copy her words now and says "belly button, ball, burp (i know gross), momma, daddy, grana, dog". He is also signing alot now-more, please, thank-you and drink are his favorites. We catch him doing other signs here and there too. As always, he has the sweetest personality and is still very attached to momma!

Avry is just really excited about the new baby sister coming. She talks to her in my belly (and can get her to move), gives her kisses and is working on figuring out where she will sleep in her room. Of course, Avry says she will share a bed with her-but since Avry doesn't even sleep in her own bed herself, poor sister will be all alone. We are also very into Ballet and Taylor Swift-thanks to Jadan! She is developing quiet a little imagination and is always coming up with new stories.

Mom and Dad are just going and going and going. I can't imagine life with 3 kids, but feel so blessed to have them. Thanksgiving and Christmas are fast approaching and we definitly have alot to be thankful for this year. Good jobs, good friends and family, health and 3 fabulous kids!

I will post more with pics later, I don't have a computer at home at the moment.

birthdays

Coen turned 1!

We had a birthday party at Jump N Jungle

The kids little friends came along

We built a swingset...ok Jerrid, Dad and Greg did.

Avry got her first pedicure!

Going back a couple of months.....

When you get pregnant unexpectedly with a third baby, I guess you get really behind in blog land! We had the kid's birthday parties together in mid July this year. Money is tight and well they don't really know the difference. Jump N Jungle was the best party place ever! They did everything, even cleaned up and served cake. We got to play and enjoy the party. Then the kids got to paint their hands on the wall of hands. They thought it was pretty special.

Avry and Coen got a swingset for their birthday's from Granna and Foy-Pa. We had a little problem getting it to Lubbock, so us and the Sanders drove to Dallas on one Saturday and picked it up. My dad came down and they all put it together. That was a busy weekend, but well worth it. The kids love their swingset. Coen got a music table thing, a tractor, lots of cars and cloths. Avry got a barbie car (a real big one), cloths and stuff for baby Joy.

Our kids sure are the joy of our lives. They keep us plenty busy and provide much entertainment! We are so blessed.

God's plan

As I have been pondering how God's plan messed up mine.....which is really a stupid idea, b/c my plan should always be God's plan!, I have been thinking of all the things that I am looking forward too this year. So, for the school year, here is my list of things that are coming.

1. Meeting baby Mac #3.
2. Avry's first day of Pre-school and all her preschool activities.
3. growing a huge belly and feeling baby Mac #3 move inside me
4. A new house!
5. The look in my children's eyes when they see their new brother/sister for the first time.
6. Decorating a nursery again, pulling out all the teeny tiny baby cloths we have saved.
7. Moving.....I am really excited about this
8. Christmas time, Thanksgiving, turning 28.
9. My nieces' ballet recital at the end of the year.
10. Going to my 10 yr high school reunion


And my next list, reason's why God's plan is working out alright afterall.....
1. I didn't get a teaching job for the fall
2. We will only have to pay for daycare for 3 for 1 yr.
3. Now is the perfect time to sell our house, the market is good
4. This might sound stupid, but we have 5 chairs sitting around our kitchen table....
5. My blog is called the McClelland 5....ironic????
6. I have a good job, Greg has a good job.
7. We finally found a church home, that we are super happy about.
8. Greg and I both got raises....
9. We own a mini-van....lol
10. God's plan's always work out......that is the most important!!!